I saw Men in Black 3 at midnight. It was enjoyable, but I couldn’t help my mind from wandering. I started thinking about Tommy Lee Jones and Josh Brolin, and the joke that Josh Brolin is basically exactly a young version of TLJ. Then I started thinking about another movie where both actors serve as the protagonist, but are never on the screen at the same time: No Country for Old Men. Then I started thinking about how maybe the ending of No Country would make more sense if you applied this same idea. Josh Brolin is just a younger version of TLJ. Think about the ending. Josh Brolin goes into a big showoff, the climax of the film; it fades out. Who do we follow in? Tommy Lee Jones. Josh Brolin is dead, but Tommy Lee Jones follows his path. WHAT IF THEY WERE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE SAME CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME. WHAT IF EVERYTHING ELUSIVE ABOUT NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN IS MADE CLEAR THROUGH MEN IN BLACK 3.

Sure. Laugh it off. That’s what I did. Then: Enter Michael Stuhlbarg.
He’s an alien who sees different versions of the future at all times. Who knows if the whole movie is just one potential version of the future, as interpreted by him? Think about it. A Serious Man. He’s the star of this Coen Brothers film, and most theories see the film as some realization of his imagination, his life falling apart, and a great deal of the film as partially imagined through the eyes of his character. WHAT IF MEN IN BLACK 3 IS CONFIRMING A SERIOUS MAN AS THE IMAGINED FUTURE OF ITS PROTAGONIST.

I know. It’s silly. Coincidence. I sure thought so as the film came to its conclusion and the credits rolled. But then, everything changed when the name of the screenwriter flashed on screen. Everything got real. The coincidences could no longer be avoided.

Screenwriter:
Etan Cohen.

WHAT IF YOU MOVED THE H FROM THE THIRD LETTER IN ‘COHEN’ TO THE THIRD LETTER IN ‘ETAN’. We’re all busy, so let me make this simple for you: you get ‘Ethan Coen’.

Yeah. That’s right. Ethan Coen. Brother of Joel Coen. OF THE COEN BROTHERS. The third letter in the name. The third Men in Black film. Yeah.

There are stories of coincidence and chance, of intersections and strange things told, and which is which and who only knows? And we generally say, "Well, if that was in a movie, I wouldn't believe it." Someone's so-and-so met someone else's so-and-so and so on. And it is in the humble opinion of this narrator that strange things happen all the time.

Until I checked the official Men in Black film twitter account. 2 days ago. “Barry Sonnenfeld and the Coen brothers at Apple store SOHO!” And a picture to boot for those who still don’t believe. What was the director of this film doing meeting with the Coen Brothers as press for this new film? Oh, they’re just friends from way back when Barry Sonnenfeld served as Director of Photography on such films as Miller’s Crossing, Raising Arizona, and Blood Simple.

I’m not saying Barry Sonnenfeld called up the Coen Brothers and said, “Hey brothers, you wanna write the third Men in Black for me and use it to explain all the confusing endings of your films in a secret conspiratorial way?” and I’m not saying they responded “Sure, but can we do it under the silly pen name of ‘Etan Cohen’ just like our other silly pen name ‘Roderick Jaynes’!”

Actually, that’s exactly what I’m saying.

You have to help me bust this open before the powerful Coen Lobby shuts it down. Get this out everywhere. Tell everyone you know. Get it trending on twitter. We must stop the terrible #CoenConspiracy. And we must stop it now.

Thanks for reading!