Comments on: Review: ‘John Carter’ Is One Long, Muddled, Uninvolving Flashback Made To Set Up A Sequel

By: Christian

Christian — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:29 +0000

I love the Playlist, but I personally can't trust you when it comes to tentpole blockbusters. Sometimes you come off as a bit too elitist for my taste. I'm giving this one a chance for Andrew Stanton.

By: Fred

Fred — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:29 +0000

Try as some may convince you otherwise, this review is spot on.

By: KT

KT — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:29 +0000

Yeah, I saw it and I have to agree completely with this review. But, like clockwork, this is the time of year where grueling winters come to a close, and the coming spring weather accompanies an onslaught of average blockbusters that nothing-to-do people are salivating over and will quickly throw their money at to get out the house for something to do. Hey, it worked for "Clash of the Titans"… but I expect this one to mimick "Tron Legacy" 's fate.

By: Nolan

Nolan — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:29 +0000

I thought it was an interesting choice to have someone like Michael Chabon come on to help with this screenplay. I love his novels, but he wouldn't really be the first guy I'd call up when I'm looking to streamline a summer blockbuster. His plots aren't exactly the tightest things on the planet.

Regardless, I have been simultaneously skeptical of and ambivalent towards this. I was almost hoping it could shake off all of this bad buzz, but that certainly doesn't seem to be the case. Hey, Disney, maybe let's not greenlight wildly expensive adaptations of books no one has ever read and pack it with zero star power and a guy directing his first live action film? Just a thought.

By: Nik Grape

Nik Grape — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:29 +0000

Looks like my fears will be realized…and the fact that the white ape scene was only mentioned in passing makes me think it's not as great as the trailers are making it look. Just from the 10 minute clip I found Kitsch to be a pretty terrible actor and the screenplay to be full of spastically simple dialgoue. Shame, there was so much potential in this project…

By: Any Person, USA

Any Person, USA — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:29 +0000

I dread that I'm going to one day pay for how much I laughed reading this. Tentpole-schmentpole, John Carter v. Terrence Malick, whatever. If it makes you feel better, go ahead and dissect the site's elitism because of a "John Carter" review. But do not deny, Jagernauth wrote a hysterical-balls to the wall-straight from the hip-love of filmmaking-tell it like it was-review. The idea that he referred to Dominic West only as McNulty, throughout–had me peeing!! The piss &vinegar construct reminded me, to keep a sense of humor about the oh-so serious business of film.

By: padre

padre — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:29 +0000

Oh wow. The Disney/Pixar cultists are going to go apeshit over this review. Disney flacks won't be too pleased either. Very ballsy of Kevin. I hope Disney doesn't maintain a grudge list.

By: tommy

tommy — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:29 +0000

Yes, it's a piece a trash. If you didn't get that just by the appalling budget or the cheesy "Phantom Menace" trailers, or the fact that it was a CG, then you have no business watching films. Mr. Stanton, you're playing with the big boys now. I've been following you for awhile. Loved your Pixar films and have heard you speak many times at screenwriting seminars and podcasts. But I have to say, your ego has become a little inflated. Yes, you made a couple of great animated films, but live action is a different game. You should have done something humbler, smaller, more personal for your first live action film, as opposed to a 2-dimensional, CG fest based on other material. You get your foot in the door and you spend GDP of a small country to make this slop?! Shame on you. Please don't turn into George Lucas. Do something original. You got your foot in the door. But keep learning. You're still a child in the context of live-action. Jeez… you could have 25 films for that much money. Financial limitations spawn creativity. And abundance, kills it. Come back down to earth Mr. Stanton.

By: Daniel

Daniel — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:29 +0000

*sigh If even George Lucas wrote nonsense when he got too much money, I suppose we shouldn't expect too much more from those just getting into the game. I'll still watch it for effects and try to think of it as an old Disney cheese-fest. But when will the next true Sci-Fi Epic finally arrive?

By: Mike

Mike — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

I'm not quite sure you realize that Edgar Rice Burroughs appears as a character in his original novel A Princess of Mars. It's a writer's device that's kind of fallen out of favor, but I think it's not a fair criticism of the film, you should have known that going in. Kind of like complaining there was 70's pop music used in Moulin Rouge, people knew that going into the theater. I didn't like this ham sandwich, it has ham in it. And the writer appearing in the story was also used multiple times by Burroughs in Tarzan series, and by Arthur Conan Doyle in The Lost World, and by William Pene du Bois, and I think Jules Verne.
As to the film being told in flashback, the book is too. As are the films Citizen Kane and Ghandi.
As to the rest of the review, I was sorry to feel in drenched in disdain. I have some hope to enjoy the film, although some of the story points you mention widely diverge from the novel, which I find of some concern. Esp as to John's feelings towards Dejah Thoris, he is supposed to be enamored of her from the first meeting. But your disdain makes me wonder if you are unfairly biased to the performance and script. I hope the film is better than your review.

By: Daniel

Daniel — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

By: joe

joe — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

the movie is great your opinion sucks maybe you should read more books and get out of the movies critics biz

By: Herb S.

Herb S. — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

Unfortunately, critics are like eunuchs in a harem. They know how its done. They see it done every day. They just can't do it themselves. Maybe when YOUR version of John Carter comes out, you can correct what you see as flaws. Until then, we will just have to enjoy this one, which I had no problem following or figuring out. If you want your plots predictable and handed to you on a silver plate, you should stick to Saturday morning cartoons and Transformer movies.

By: Geek Soul Brother

Geek Soul Brother — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

I think the problem with critiquing this movie is that people are not used to seeing this sort of story. They feel that they can compare it to other science fictions they have seen, but John Carter is very original in it's setting and style, if not in it's basic 'knight and princess' structure. Barbarian mixed with advances technology is hard to put in a box. Some of the points you state are relevant, but to address the criticisms of the movie, I would ask how far should they have deviated from the books? Because they really did a fine adaptation. So if you thought the film was cheesy, then you will probably think the hundred year old source material is cheesy too. John Carter will be loved by many a young person down the road, as Edgar Rice's original Princess of Mars was for generations.

By: PhuqeCritics

PhuqeCritics — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

Kev, baby, you are an elitist prick. This was a great movie for what it was, a simple Sci Fi "Guy Gets Girl" movie. It wasn't meant to be deep or meaningful. Why not do the world a favor and shove a hard copy of this movie up that huge a$$hole of yours so it can entertain that family of five that are already living in your anal cavity? Better yet find about ten actors in "The Artist" film yourself sucking their dicks? It should be "art" for you and your cohorts. Man, you suck.

By: Greg

Greg — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

To Kevin;
Dude it looks like people really hate you and your reviews. Find another pass time.

By: BIO

BIO — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

Totally awesome movie. The reviewers are all blowing it on this one. One of their big mistakes is comparing it to other movies, thinking John Carter is copying them, when in fact John Carter was written 100 years ago and these other movies have lifted elements from the Edger Rice Burroughs "Barsoom" series (John Carter and Mars). Going to see it again in 3D and when it comes out on DVD there will be two black tire marks out of my driveway to the store.

By: TOMMY

TOMMY — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

I love how all the morons that hate this review, have the vocabulary of a Brooklyn cab driver. The only rebuttle they have is to throw out every curse word, and default to the "for what it is…" excuse. You know what? Shit smells pretty good, FOR WHAT IT IS. For everyone grown man that still addresses another adult man as "dude", needs to grow up and learn how to have a respectable, professional, grown up conversation about a subject. Figures it's these people who like "John Carter."

By: Ron

Ron — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

This review needs no rebuttal. KEVIN JAGERNAUTH is just a tool jumping on the "hate John Carter" bandwagon so he won't be laughed at.

By: Max

Max — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

I'm a cinema spirit of 76 years. Regardless of what I was prepared to not like I found my trip to Mars with JOHN CARTER as a blast of pleasurable adventure. I thought the characters and the characterizations far more interesting than AVATAR or any other Sci-Fi film of recent viewing (past 2 years). It reminded me of a STAR WARS production with a little more action than usual. Not perfect but most entertaining. Looking forward to the next chapter. Keep Mark Strong as the protagonist. The Sherlock group goofed when they let him go elsewhere.

By: Jake

Jake — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

Gee wiz Tommy and Kevin, I loath critics because they enjoy tearing things down. Kevin cannot direct and Tommy cannot write, so they blog. The book was written before jaded little cretins had websites. Some people just need Rotten Veggies to do form their opinion of what to see or miss. From taste in desert, to taste in movies the individual must decide, but critics can insure no sequels will be made. Now go do something constructive or pull the wings off flies.

By: Rob

Rob — Fri, 13 May 2016 12:52:28 +0000

this is the worst review of the film I have ever seen, you should dig ditches for a living instead becauswe you sure dont know crap about movies. Go see the hunger games again you tween. This is a fantastic film and kept me enthralled the whole time, it was fun, well cast and for such a beautiful book the director did it great justice-you just want to jump on the critic bandwagon of hate for this film-reminds me another film that this happened too-star wars-this film will be a cult classic and your messed up review is proof that maybe you need to rethink your little hobby of a blog