“Black Swan” (Darren Aronofsky, 2009)
Look. I know. I know. “Black Swan” is a dubious-at-best depiction of lesbian sexuality no matter how you slice it. Neurotic ballerina Nina (Natalie Portman) basically only hooks up with her main competition, Lily, (Mila Kunis) in an attempt to get back at her overbearing mother while drunk and high. It’s later revealed that their tryst probably never even happened because Nina is a craaaaazy hysteeeeerical womannnnn. I know all of this. But when Natalie and Mila commit, they commit, and “Black Swan” delivers the kind of scorching lesbian love scene you practically never see in wide-release films, much less Oscar-nominated ones. It helps that, rampant misogyny aside, “Black Swan” is a very well-made film, with skin-tinglingly spooky imagery that perfectly encapsulates its protagonist’s fractured psyche. While I trust Darren Aronofsky to write a tasteful female character the same way I trust my dog to drive my car, I can’t deny it. The salacious psychosis of “Black Swan” gets me every time.
“Jennifer’s Body” (Karyn Kusama, 2009)
As Diablo Cody told me in an interview earlier this year, when Karyn Kusama set out to direct Cody’s script, nobody thought “Jennifer’s Body” would win much acclaim. And they were right—the movie was panned, seemingly doomed to join a hundred other female-directed and -centric works in the centuries-compounded detritus of Movies Men Don’t Care About. However, the film’s cult following has recently been picking up speed, as more and more women (especially gay women) rediscover its not-so-secret brilliance. A meta-commentary on the media’s fetishistic love for lead Megan Fox, “Jennifer’s Body” hilariously explores the relationship between Needy (Amanda Seyfried) and her best friend Jennifer (Fox) after Jennifer is mistaken for a virginal tribute to Satan. When Jennifer has to eat boys to stay pretty, things between the gal pals get tense—and, in one unforgettable scene, steamy. From its pink cursive title to lines like, “PMS isn’t real, Needy, it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem like we’re crazy,” this movie knows what it’s about. Either get on board or keep it movin’.
“All Cheerleaders Die” (Lucky McKee & Chris Sivertson, 2010)
“All Cheerleaders Die” is a nonstop wild ride that will catapult you from “lesbian succubus zombies” right into “rape-revenge Wiccanism” before you can say, “What?” But that’s exactly what some people (me) are looking for in a movie, so stay with me. “All Cheerleaders Die” follows Maddy (Caitlin Stasey), an unpopular dyke who infiltrates the cheerleader squad to seduce their captain, Tracy (Brooke Butler). When Tracy brags to her football captain boyfriend Terry (Tom Williamson) that Maddy gave her one of the best orgasms of her life (take note, ladies!) Terry flies into a rage and kills all of the cheerleaders, who, thanks to Maddy’s Wiccan girlfriend Leena (Sianoa Smit-McPhee), are resurrected as zombie-succubae who need to drink men’s blood to live. With me so far? No? Okay! All you really need to know is that this movie, while not on the same artistic level as “Jennifer’s Body,” is still severely underrated. Want to watch a horror movie where a sweeping string score plays as a lesbian couple speeds away on a motorcycle, or where the final girl is actually two final girls who are in love? Then stop questioning me and go rent this shit!
“The Moth Diaries” (Mary Harron, 2011)
Written and directed by “American Psycho” auteur Mary Harron, vampire romp capitalizes on three of my worst cinematic vices: lesbian boarding school movies, buckets of blood, and in-world meta-commentary. It focuses on Rebecca (Sarah Bolger), as her best friend Lucy (Sarah Gadon) becomes enthralled by a new, mysterious student named Ernessa (Lily Cole). While this movie is pretty much the definition of “unsubtle”—a dashing English teacher just happens to be teaching them about Gothic literature, the preyed-upon ingenue is named Lucy—it’s also weird and dark and genuinely fun to watch. The young female cast delivers on their prescriptive roles (especially Lily Cole, whose weird face I could watch for hours), and Mary Harron delights in her themes of blood, death, sex, and—of course—moths. Though likely a bit too wishy-washy atmospheric for some, “The Moth Diaries” is a sensual and satisfying dive into teenage girlhood and a welcome addition to the world of lesbian vampire cinema.
“Jack & Diane” (Bradley Rust Gray, 2012)
We’ve been through homoerotic mermaids, vampires, and succubae—it’s time to inject some more werewolf energy into this list. “Jack & Diane” centers on Diane (Juno Temple), a raggedy, haunted twin with chronic nosebleeds and a too-strict guardian. After she meets baby butch Jack (Riley Keough), things take off as the couple tries to make it work despite Diane’s impending departure to France and burgeoning werewolfism. Littered with charming, gross hair-and-guts stop-motion animation and drenched in soaring Icelandic music, “Jack & Diane” is the kind of indie film that can only be described as “niche.” I hesitate to recommend it both because it’s pretty weird (even for me) and because it features a super-unnecessary rape scene (thanks, Bradley Rust Gray!). Still, at the end of the day, when are you going to have another chance to see two of independent film’s most gravely underappreciated female actors make out with each other? Riley and Juno, this one’s for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXwGTWQNOB4
