Comments on: 5 Things You May Not Know About ‘Return Of The Jedi’ & How It Could Have Been Much Cooler

By: daniel

daniel — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

Revenge of the Jedi:
1) Luke and Liea go to save Han. When they get to Jabba's palace, Boba Fett calls Vader and says "Hey buddy. Just like you thought, your son showed up to save his friend, so come get him, which is pretty much what you spent all of Empire trying to do, and this is a trap."
2) Vader and the Empire attack, blowing the hell out of everything to get at Luke, including Jabba. As a bonus, Jabba is an actual character played by a person, not a huge, crummy puppet.
3) Leia and Han escape, but only by Luke using some Dark Sideish choking action on say, Boba Fett. Leia sees this, Han doesn't, they just barely get away, but Luke is captured by Vader.
4) Han and Leia, are now the defacto leaders of the Rebellion. Han wants to save his best friend Luke from Vader, Leia wants to defeat the Emperor and save the galaxy.
5) Vader says "Hey Luke, the Emperor is going to kill your friends. He also knows, just like i said in Empire, that you can kill him. So why don't you do that, and you save Han and Leia, and we rule the blah blah as father et cetera."
6) Luke kills the Emperor, now totally falling down the dark path.
7) Vader is totally pumped, and now rules the Empire.
8) Now Leia, Han and the Rebels have no choice but take the fight to the Empire, and maybe save Luke in the process. Liea expresses serious doubts: he's changed. Han: he's my best friend, I have to save him.
9) the Rebels attack, and Vader says "Luke, I've totally reconsidered the not-killing-your-friends idea at this point."
10) Luke tries to make things right, and has to make the choice between saving Han or saving Leia. He saves Leia, and gets to Han just in time to see him fighting Vader.
11) Vader kills Han in front of Luke, an echo of him killing Obi Wan in front of him. Leia heart breaks in half, Luke freaks out, attacks Vader. Han, dying, uses the Force to do one small but emotionally resonant thing — something that helps Luke fight him.
12) Luke kills Vader, destroying the symbol of his own self-doubt, the Rebels are saved. But his best friend is dead, and Leia in total Guinevere form, can never be with Luke (and hells no they arent brother and sister for christs sake). She goes off to live in sadness, leaving Lando , who has governed things before, to run the new Republic.
13) Luke, brokenhearted, walks off into the twin sunset of the desert — just like Obi Wan Kenobi did after he blew it.
14) Everybody cries, sees the movie six times.

to quote William Hurt in History of Violence: "HOW DO YOU &$%%# THAT UP??"

By: David

David — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

Janet Leigh dies in psycho?you spoiling bastards!maybe Lucas could go back and fuck with that movie aswell

By: James

James — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

I've also read in multiple places that Lucas wanted Spielberg to direct "Jedi". However the fact that Lucas makes his films non-union/outside the DGA made that impossible.

By: YO DUH

YO DUH — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

Uh, you already shat on Jedi earlier. Once per day not doin' it for you anymore?

By: Matt

Matt — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

Yes, David Lynch directing Jedi would have been interesting. However, it would have also been a disaster.

By: Steve

Steve — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

Dang i saw that movie seven times when it came out, they must have done something right!!
Also guys in lizards suits would have looked worse!!!

By: Bender

Bender — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

5 more ways to nag about something that is allready perfect the way it is!

By: swell

swell — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

Kevin, send Drew a nice christmas present this year… after his recent run, it appears the site has a new lead dickbag to hammer on.

By: Sean

Sean — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

These 5 fact articles are usually without opinion and bias, but it seems as though Drew decided that this one needed his critical and important input.

By: Sean

Sean — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

Also I think that the death of Han Solo would have either clouded or been diminished by the deaths of Yoda and Vadar.

By: Griefo

Griefo — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

When Lynch Met Lucas – http://vimeo.com/52553756

By: Jojo

Jojo — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

Return of the Jedi does suffer from tonal inconsistency, not just relative to the other movies, but in the movie itself.

Maybe.. No sentient life on the planet Endor. The Empire chooses it because it is remote and has no sentient life, so no hassle. The Rebels launch a ground force led by Han Solo, while Leia remains with Ackbar. Han leads a badass true-to-life combat scenario on the ground with actual rebel troops with real faces and emotions, risking their lives big time for the cause we've been following for three movies. He repays Leia's devotion by leading a successful and awesome badass battle, and instead of being weirdly emasculated, instead segways from rogue to hero by showing how far he's come as a leader. The film ends not with a teddy bear jamboree, but with a scene reminiscent of the first ending, not with the principal characters dancing to jub-jub, but with Leia ready to piece things back together in the galaxy with General Solo by her side as the Rebel Alliance celebrates. And Luke walks into the sunset.

The on the ground in Endor stuff is what messed the movie up. It's not a bad movie, but it could have been so much better. It's Lucas's baby, so with change in the man, so changes the work, but if he had been as hands off as he had been with Empire and let the people who made that movie excel work their magic here.. who knows?

By: jojo

jojo — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

the first film's* ending

By: Starway2001

Starway2001 — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

Wow, this article is just dripping in contempt.

By: Starway2001

Starway2001 — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

Wow, this article is just dripping in contempt.

By: Starway2001

Starway2001 — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

Wow, this article is just dripping in contempt.

By: JD

JD — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

1. The Ewoks were not space lizards. They were originally going to be Wookies. IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE DAVID LYNCH QOUTE. In Lucas's first treatment for Star Wars, he had the Empire's ground forces fighting Wookies while the Rebels attacked the Death Star. It's also the reason for the Wookie battle in Revenge Of The Sith. During pre-production Lucas concluded they wouldn't be able to find enough tall people to play Wookies, but he already knew a lot of midget and dwarf performers from making the first two Star Wars films. So he, in his words, "Cut the Wookies in half and called them Ewoks." (There's a hint of the original concept in the final film when Chewbacca, along with two Ewoks, swings onto the Walker and takes over the controls.)

(Also: the Ewoks are the Viet Cong. The Rebels are also the Viet Cong, but most people didn't get it. Remember that Lucas and John Milius came up with the original story for APOCALYPSE NOW.)

2. Those Gary Kurtz qoutes have long ago been thoroughly exposed as having very little to with reality. Kurtz was remembering most of it wrong and making up the rest. His garbled descriptions of various chapters where Leia is queen of the universe and Luke's kids are turning to the dark side or whatever have no confirmation from anyone else connected to the original Star Wars trilogy.

3. That being said, I would have liked to have seen David Lynch or David Cronenberg's vision of a Star Wars movie.

By: nightgoat72

nightgoat72 — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

Those would not have been cooler at all. "Cooler" like all the dull, depressing post-Nolan Hollywood cinema these days, more like. Why does everyone equate joy, fun, and triumph with "uncool" these days? How fucking hipster.

By: Scully

Scully — Fri, 13 May 2016 09:49:34 +0000

So do a rewrite, Drew, produce it and put in the theaters.